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What would happen to ME?
March 6, 2012 in Uncategorized | Tags: 3, alcoholic, alone, arm, asleep, ass, bag, bar, bartender, beach, beds, black, blatantly, body, bonfire, brain, brother, cabin, cards, chair, China, control, couch, crazy, died, divorce, dock, doors, drinking, drinks, drug, emotions, evening, eye, eyes, fell, felt, fix, flew, flooding, floor, flow, fondling, friends, group, hand, happen, hard, haw, heart, hell, hit, home, honeymoon, horrible, hours, imiportantly, issue, jealous, kill, ladder, lane, large, late, life, lifetime, loaded, locked, long, love, man, marriage, me, memory, met, minute, money, morning, muddy, night, nights, noat, notebook, off, onboard, overnight, parties, person, phones, poured, quiet, reconnect, regina, remember, return, river, rub, safe, scurried, session, shit, shorts, sign, sister, size, slept, sorry, spare, started, stormed, stroll, sun, table, talk, tears, therapist, think, thoughts, town, track, trouble, tv's, visiting, vowed, water, waters, wedding, week, windows, work, writting, wrong | Leave a comment
In the last post, you may remember ROB was told by our therapist that she even felt that he was an alcoholic and wanted him to take a test to show her he wasn’t. Rob stormed out of that session and vowed to me that he would never return. I thought, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME?
Well, like this post, I was not sure where to go next, I was not sure where to go with my life, emotions and most importantly my heart. I still loved this man, or at least the man I thought he could still be, but could he really still be in there? Was I enough to make him want to return to the person I met and fell in love with 3 years ago, did he even still want to be in this marriage…more importantly, did I want to still be in this marriage. Again, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME?
It was one of the week nights I knew ROB had to work late, but more importantly wasn’t even sure he would come home at all after what happened. So I knew I had some time to think. Think LONG and HARD about what I needed to do for me, where had this marriage gone wrong, could I help to fix it and more importantly, did I want to fix it.
So time for me to stroll down memory lane and take a good hard look at things and that is exactly what I did for the next 4 hours of my life. I turned off all the phones & TV’s, locked the doors and sat with my thoughts a notebook and started writing down what had happened to me. The memories started to flow back, the first was our wedding night and how ROB was so excited to open the cards and see how much money was in the cards. That should have been a clue to me about the importance that money was going to play in our marriage. Then on our honeymoon, we went to a cabin and ended up spending the whole honeymoon sleeping in separate beds..uhmmmm HELLO!!! That one should have left a big old black eye and also the amount a drinking that went on. CRAZY.
Here is where the story gets out of control, I remembered being out on our boat one evening and we went to a bar on the river called MUDDY WATERS. I thought this was going to be great an evening out for dinner and time alone (by this I mean no friends around) and we can just talk with each other and reconnect and get things back on track. Little to my surprise did I know that I was the only one with that thought in my head. As we were sitting there talking waiting for our dinner to come, ROB went up to the bar to get us more drinks, how thoughtful right? I thought so also, until the bartender came over and started talking with me. No surprise there, but what took me off guard is when he told me that MY BROTHER; a.k.a. my HUSBAND, told him that I was his sister in town visiting and going through a horrible divorce and thought he & I would hit it off. I think my jaw hit the table and then the floor leaving a dent the size of China in the floor. I remember sitting there looking at ROB not know what to say. I finally looked at the bartender and told him thank you but that I was not interested. As he walked away, ROB started laughing. Funny…wow, if he had only know he was predicting the future of me going through a horrible divorce, only it was from him. I thought to myself, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME?
Then the next instance came flooding into my brain and this one brought tears to my eyes. We were once again out on the river and one of ROBs friends was down with us. We met up with a large group of friends and some of their friends. I remember this one lady, I will call her Regina to keep all parties safe. I met her and right away I remember thinking to myself, this lady is trouble. But she was with her husband and kids so I thought I would be nice, keep my thoughts to myself and give her a chance. Later that late afternoon almost evening, ROB and I were sitting on our boat talking and I said to him that I thought Regina was a trouble maker and that he should keep is eyes open. He laughed at me and said how cute I was when I was jealous. JEALOUS??? Jealous of what? I didn’t know this women. Whatever, I thought. Well, the evening continued and I was not away that ROB & his buddy had made a bet to see which one could out drink the other….HELLO ANOTHER BIG OLD SIGN!!! I was tired and said that I wanted to go in and clean up the boat and go to bed. ROB told me that he would be in later and that he was going to sit up with his buddy and catch up. Off to the boat I went and was ready for some peace and quiet. After I got on the boat, got it cleaned up, I forgot to tell ROB that I was going to pull the ladder up so no one else would come aboard. What a surprise I got when I went out to talk with him. I went to the front of the boat and looked up to where everyone was gathered around the bonfire. I remember I had to rub my eyes a couple of times. Was that really happening, maybe I was already asleep. I stood there for what felt like a lifetime, but am sure it was less than a minute. I stood there watching as this women Regina sat in her beach chair with her hand up ROBs shorts fondling him…I almost died. I lowered that ladder flew off that boat, walked up to both of them, took her drink poured it over her and told her is she EVER came around me or my husband again, we were going to have an issue. At this time I grabbed ROB by the arm and drug him over to the boat where I told him he best get his ass on that boat and shut up. Once we were both on the boat, ROB informed me that this was going on many nights, nothing new for him to do this and that he was not staying on that boat. He also informed me that I had no control over him or what he did. That’s when he stood up said he was going back down to continue partying with his friends. I wanted to kill him right then and there. Who was he to talk to me that way and so blatantly? I told myself that it was the alcohol and that he would be sorry in the morning. I went into the cabin, locked all the doors and windows and went to sleep. After many hours of tears, the sun finally came up and so was I. I got off that boat loaded up all our stuff, threw Regina’s shit in the river and told ROB and his buddy I was taking the boat and leaving if the wanted to come they better get onboard NOW and shut the hell up. Little to my surprise, they both scurried up that ladder and off we went. ROBs buddy came up with his overnight bag and told us to stop at the local dock as he thought we needed to be alone to talk. Are you kidding me, you would leave me alone with him and all this water? Would anyone ever find the body? Again, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME?
It was the longest ride back to our dock and even longer back to our home. ROB slept in the spare room or the couch that night, I am not really sure, nor did I care. The week went on and neither one of us said anything to each other. What ROB didn’t know was what I had done.
Check in soon see what I had done and see where this marriage was heading.
If you are dealing with someone who you think maybe or is an alcoholic, please contact ALCOHOLIC ANONYMOUS and get help. You can access their website at www.aa.org to find out more information.
Look for my next entry as we come closer and closer to the conclusion to this marriage!
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What’s around that next corner?
January 27, 2012 in Uncategorized | Tags: 401k, 48, account, accounting, answer, attack, aunt, bail, bastard, boys, bridge, business plans, cancer, car, career, closed, college, complain, corporate, counseling, crashed, credit, credit score, dad, deal, dealership, degree, depression, dept of revenue, designs, diagnosed, dig, diploma, divorced, dream, embezzled, entertaining, experience, family, fired, forged, forward, fucking, girl, ground, happily, heart, heart attack, hell, high school, honey, honeymoon, hope, hours, industry, intelligent, IRA, irs, job, kidding, laid, laid off, life support, listening, locations, logo, lord, lot, lucky, market, marriage, money, obstacals, partner, plan, play, question, real estate, run, sales, school, score, sites, sitting, situation, sun, taxes, thank you, Thanksgiving, thinking, tired, travel, understanding, ungrateful, work, worry, wrong | 2 comments
As you remember, I made it through Thanksgiving and I couldn’t follow through with my plan. I know, you are sitting there thinking what the hell is wrong with this girl, right? Well, trust me, I was thinking the same thing. But I forged forward and hope this was a one of a kind situation and that we would never have to cross this sort of bridge again. BOY WAS I WRONG!
I never could have managed to dream of all the obstacles I was going to face in my first year of marriage. Let’s just take a quick run down…quit my corporate job to start a real estate career, less than 30 days after our marriage, ROB got laid off (truly fired so he admitted 3 years later into the marriage), my dad had a heart attack the day we got home from our honeymoon, my aunt was taken off life support the day after Thanksgiving, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, ROB was job hoping or out at the bars…CUZ HE WAS IN A DEPRESSION, and I was supposed to be understanding. Oh I was understanding all right…
I was so understanding and so tired of listening to him complain about everything under the sun, that I told him it was time to start his own used car sales lot. Since he had over 15 years experience in the car industry, let’s start a business and make this work. So, since ROB doesn’t even have a high school diploma and I have a college degree and in accounting for that fact, guess who got to get the bulk of starting this business? YEP, ME!!! What a lucky girl I was. Let’s not forget I was also trying to get my real estate career off the ground as well. So I would work all day at my job and then come home to work on business plans, location sites, logo designs and more on his business. Guess where good old ROB was? Yep, out at the bar chumming it up with the boys!
As we all know, the real estate business is not the place to be and I was lucky enough to get in on right before the market crashed. Just my luck right? Oh well, when I agreed to marry ROB he told me I would never have to work again or worry about money. He wanted me to have a job that I could work when I wanted to and have the ability to travel & play more. What a GREAT guy right? Let me tell you, if someone EVER tells you this; turn and run the other way so fast!!! Especially if they also proceed to tell you…OH AND BY THE WAY, I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT SCORE, 401K AND I OWE THE IRS/DEPT OF REV FOR BACK TAXES.
I bet you are sitting there thinking what the hell is wrong with this girl, right? I sure as hell was! How the hell was I to ever tell my family that this is what I got myself into. No can do! No one in my family has ever divorced or been in a situation like this. I will dig us out of this and we will live happily ever after!
A couple of years after the dealership opened, I got a call from ROB all in a panic that the partner we had gone into business was threatening to close it. What? What the hell was this about? Oh I was quickly brought up to speed all right. ROB had embezzled $18,000.00 from the business. Never told his partner, never got the ok and never told me about this either. The business partner had given ROB 48 hours to get the about back into the business account or he was going to shut the doors and move on. Bet ya all can’t even think about ROBs next move. He sat in front of me and asked WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS???? Really, are you kidding me? What was I going to do about this? His first words were when do you have a closing coming up? Why should I bail you out of this, what happened to honey you will never have to worry about money again? And first…let’s talk about where this money is? A question I did not want to hear the answer to. I am sure you all have a good idea where some of it went. The bar, yep that good old hell hole in my marriage, paying bills and entertaining. Entertaining? Who? I didn’t have time to deal with this, what were we going to go? We had no money, and lord knows he’s not intelligent enough to figure it out.
For better or worse right? Well, I closed out my 401k plan and gave him $15,000.00. Yeah, and for what? You know what I got? $15,000.00, I owe $18,000.00 where am I gonna get the last $3,000.00!!!! Uhmmmm, hellooooooo, how about a fucking thank you? Nope, not that; that would be the right thing to do! ROB told me that there was a IRA coming due on the business for $25,000.00 and I would get that to put back into my 401k. Yeah, right! I told the ungrateful bastard to figure the remaining money out for himself.
Think this is getting good? Wait until you read the next entry!!! Marriage counseling…who doesn’t want to go there? Oh yes we did!
Look for my next entry and we come closer and closer to the conclusion to this marriage!
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