What’s around that next corner?

As you remember, I made it through Thanksgiving and I couldn’t follow through with my plan.  I know, you are sitting there thinking what the hell is wrong with this girl, right?  Well, trust me, I was thinking the same thing.  But I forged forward and hope this was a one of a kind situation and that we would never have to cross this sort of bridge again.  BOY WAS I WRONG!

I never could have managed to dream of all the obstacles I was going to face in my first year of marriage.  Let’s just take a quick run down…quit my corporate job to start a real estate career, less than 30 days after our marriage, ROB got laid off (truly fired so he admitted 3 years later into the marriage), my dad had a heart attack the day we got home from our honeymoon, my aunt was taken off life support the day after Thanksgiving, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, ROB was job hoping or out at the bars…CUZ HE WAS IN A DEPRESSION, and I was supposed to be understanding.  Oh I was understanding all right…

I was so understanding and so tired of listening to him complain about everything under the sun, that I told him it was time to start his own used car sales lot.  Since he had over 15 years experience in the car industry, let’s start a business and make this work.  So, since ROB doesn’t even have a high school diploma and I have a college degree and in accounting for that fact, guess who got to get the bulk of starting this business?  YEP, ME!!!  What a lucky girl I was.  Let’s not forget I was also trying to get my real estate career off the ground as well.  So I would work all day at my job and then come home to work on business plans, location sites, logo designs and more on his business.  Guess where good old ROB was?  Yep, out at the bar chumming it up with the boys!

As we all know, the real estate business is not the place to be and I was lucky enough to get in on right before the market crashed.  Just my luck right?  Oh well, when I agreed to marry ROB he told me I would never have to work again or worry about money.  He wanted me to have a job that I could work when I wanted to and have the ability to travel & play more.  What a GREAT guy right?  Let me tell you, if someone EVER tells you this; turn and run the other way so fast!!!  Especially if  they also proceed to tell you…OH AND BY THE WAY, I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT SCORE, 401K AND I OWE THE IRS/DEPT OF REV FOR BACK TAXES.

I bet you are sitting there thinking what the hell is wrong with this girl, right?  I sure as hell was!  How the hell was I to ever tell my family that this is what I got myself into.  No can do!  No one in my family has ever divorced or been in a situation like this.  I will dig us out of this and we will live happily ever after!

A couple of years after the dealership opened, I got a call from ROB all in a panic that the partner we had gone into business was threatening to close it.   What? What the hell was this about?  Oh I was quickly brought up to speed all right.  ROB had embezzled $18,000.00 from the business.  Never told his partner, never got the ok and never told me about this either.  The business partner had given ROB 48 hours to get the about back into the business account or he was going to shut the doors and move on.  Bet ya all can’t even think about ROBs next move.  He sat in front of me and asked WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS????  Really, are you kidding me?  What was I going to do about this?  His first words were when do you have a closing coming up?  Why should I bail you out of this, what happened to honey you will never have to worry about money again?  And first…let’s talk about where this money is?  A question I did not want to hear the answer to.  I am sure you all have a good idea where some of it  went.  The bar, yep that good old hell hole in my marriage, paying bills and entertaining.  Entertaining?  Who?  I didn’t have time to deal with this, what were we going to go?  We had no money, and lord knows he’s not intelligent enough to figure it out.

For better or worse right?  Well, I closed out my 401k plan and gave him $15,000.00.  Yeah, and for what?  You know what I got?  $15,000.00, I owe $18,000.00 where am I gonna get the last $3,000.00!!!!  Uhmmmm, hellooooooo, how about a fucking thank you?  Nope, not that; that would be the right thing to do!  ROB told me that there was a IRA coming due on the business for $25,000.00 and I would get that to put back into my 401k.  Yeah, right!  I told the ungrateful bastard to figure the remaining money out for himself.

Think this is getting good?  Wait until you read the next entry!!! Marriage counseling…who doesn’t want to go there?  Oh yes we did!

 

Look for my next entry and we come closer and closer to the conclusion to this marriage!

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Is it LOVE?

As you recall, the last time we were together, ROB was drunk dialing my aunt and trying to find me.  After 11 years of being in a relationship with the same person I had met right after leaving ROB, I called it off with that person.  We had been engaged twice, had lots of firsts; but just couldn’t make it work.  So I moved on to what I thought would be greener pastures.  I dated a few guys, but for some reason ROB kept coming back to my mind.

I had a few bad relationships, got into some trouble and was kind of on a train out of control.  One night, my cousin called and said that her and a really good friend of ours were going to be going to a party.  I told her to have fun, be safe and call me in the morning.  No, No, No…there was going to be none of that.  I was to put on my summer dress, do my hair and wear my smile.  They were on their way to pick me up.  We met up with the guy she was seeing at the time and they brought us to a  party.  I wish I could tell you all where this party was, but truly I have no idea other than I knew I was a long way from home and didn’t know anyone at this party.

I started to mingle and then WHAM it happened…as I am talking with a gentlemen, I hear my name from behind me.  I turned around and there he was…ROB! WOW! What a site.  His piercing blue eyes, that dark hair and  smile.  He looked the same as I had always remembered him.  He asked if I even remembered who he was…oh I remembered.  We talked for sometime and he asked me for my number.  I gave it to him and as my cousing & I were driving home, me telling my cousin all that went on and who he was, my phone rang.  It was ROB.  Oh lord, she told me answer it and the rest was history.  We spent every moment together from then on.

He was charming, thoughtful, generous & kind.  Or so I thought.  We were together for about 2 months I moved into his place.  We took a couple of trips together, I got to meet his friends that lived out-of-state.  He sent a dozen long stem red roses to my work every other week like clock work.  I got a song a day every day with the kindest notes attached via email each morning I went to work professing his love and how he could not live again without me in his life.  My co-workers LOVED him, what a splendid guy, he would send my department lunch once in a while.

We started dating in June, by August I was living with him, November we got engaged…he took me to Mexico, chartered a boat and proposed to me with a Tiffany’s ring and over a 1 carat center stone.  I remember standing on that boat thinking what the hell!!!!  How can this be happening to me? Is this for real?  I am ready to be an instant mom?  Oh yeah, did I mention he had a son from a previous marriage and cheated on his first wife with another girl I had gone to high school with?  Yeah, that happened.  If I am going to bring you up to date, I guess I have to give you all the gory details.  I accepted his ring, we celebrated and I thought the magic was going to be fabulous.

We talked; I mean we talked about EVERYTHING!  I told him how hurt I was when he cheated on me in the past, but I guess it was meant to be as he got a wonderful son out of it, whom I had grown to love and adore with every piece of my heart.  I remember asking him, “IF WE EVER BECOME FLAT BROKE AND LIVING IN A BOX UNDER A BRIDGE, WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME ENOUGH TO STICK WITH ME THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES?”  His reply, was that he had looked for me for 15 years; nothing ever again would come between us…what a crock of crap that turned out to be.

The story continues…stay tuned for more!