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A toast to remember…
January 25, 2012 in Uncategorized | Tags: 10, 100th, account, addoration, adoration, adored, amazement, bank, bar, beloved, better, bitch, bouquet, boys, bracelet, camera, cared, casino, casual, celebrating, change, cina, closer, conclusion, conversation, couch, crying, dad, Davidson, door, drinking, driveway, enjoy, entry, evening, fat boy, fight, flowers, gamble, garage, gas, ghostly, guest room, Harley, Harley Davidson, health, heart, house, hug, husband, jackass, job, juice, kill, kitchen, lake, look, manipulate, marriage, married, mingling, mom, money, mouth, mystic, mystic lake casino, name, no, overnight, pete, picture, poorer, pour, protect, relax, replayed, richer, road, ruined, short, shower, shut, sickness, single, sister, smelt.journey, sorry, sparkling, spent, standing, station, step-son, storm, sunroom, table, tears, tennis, tennis bracelet, thank, Thanksgiving, three, tilt, tilting, trip, wine, worse, years | Leave a comment
Who could think that in 4 short and I mean very short months; one girl can go from being with a man she thought adored her, to actually being with someone who would & could do everything to hurt, manipulate and use her? You maybe wondering how I come to this conclusion with just one fight and some name calling, right? Well, let’s take a really quick trip down another short road that happened. In the three months prior to our first Thanksgiving together, ROB, lost his 3 figure income, talked to me about purchasing a used Harley Davidson…which I agreed to but only in the amount of roughly $10,000.00 as he had not found another job yet, had started to gamble (and NOT on a casual basis), and started staying out later and later with THE BOYS at the bar. Oh and not to mention, that jackass pulled up in the driveway with not a used Harley Davidson, but a brand new 100th addition Fat Boy with a customer paint job. He put me on the back of that damn thing and took was going to take me on a ride to meet some of our other BIKER FRIENDS!!!!! I was so tense he turned around a mile from our home. Before the bike reached the driveway I think I was on the couch and ready to kill someone. ROB, decided to come in and ask me, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? My problem, oh know you want to know MY PROBLEM? Let’s see, we agreed on something and ROB couldn’t even make that work. Oh, I will tell you what MY PROBLEM is…I let him have it! Again I almost for batem restated the conversation we had about that $10,000.00 bike in the garage! He admitted it was more like $25,000.00 he spent and that he had been SINGLE for almost 10 years and I couldn’t expect him to change overnight! Oh REALLY!!! I had NEVER been married and I had NEVER had to talk to ANYONE about my money or how I spent it…but I was trying! So, I simply explained it to him that when I purchased a $25,000.00 TENNIS BRACELET that only I would get the use out of, he best keep his damn mouth shut and accept it! His reply…YOU WOULD NEVER…no I didn’t think I would, but things changed and so had I!
Along with this new Harley…I had watched ROB gamble over $2,000.00 away one evening…not even really an evening, but a couple hours. You are probably wondering why this is so upsetting, right? Well, it was because he had already been out drinking for a rough 5 hours and I was sitting at home watching the money come out of the bank account when he had called and said he was on his way home! Oh yeah, I in my pajama’s stormed into Mystic Lake Casino and let him have it!
So, know that you have a little more into my WONDERFUL life, let’s get back to that wonderful first Thanksgiving dinner.
As you remember, I had been up all night trying to figure out what to do and make a dinner for 10 people. Yep, his parents, sister, my parents & my step-son. The table looked perfect with MY best china, the house smelt great and all was in place. When ROB finally decided to wake up and journey up to the kitchen from the guest room in our lower level where he slept that night, the first thing he saw was me in the kitchen crying. Do you know what his first words were? Yep, HONEY WHAT’S WRONG? Are you kidding me…with swollen red eyes, I spun on him and asked YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S WRONG? I WILL TELL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH WHAT’S WRONG! I married someone I thought had a heart and cared about me, but what I got was someone who only cared about himself and fuck the rest of the world or those in it. He just stood there. To his amazement, I asked him directly; DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME LAST NIGHT? His reply, not really. I started to laugh, if I only had had a camera to take a picture of him tilting his head and trying to figure out what was going on. I replayed the night instance for instance and word for word and then I added…SO LET’S DO THIS! He just stood there. I told him; he best get a move on, he still had to go pick up our son from his moms and people would be coming soon. At this point, he looked at me with a ghostly look on his face and said, I don’t really thing we should have Thanksgiving and I don’t think Pete (name changed to protect him) should come over either. I didn’t even face him with my reply of, OH HELL NO! WE ARE DOING THIS AND PETE WILL BE HERE ALSO. GET MOVING.
As ROB went off to shower, I took a deep breath and made my way from the kitchen to our sun room to sit and look out and get my plan together. Oh I wanted everyone there for this one. I thought how perfect this was going to be and I was going to leave him holding the spoon of guilt and having to answer LOTS of questions; especially from my mom & dad whom would not have a clue as to what just happened.
My plan…in my mind, this is how it was going to go. Since this was our first joint family gathering and everyone was expecting things to be special, I wanted to make the moment special. With that said, I saw things going down something like this:
Everyone would take their places at the table, I would bring over the turkey (that by the way was GREAT and everyone did love it), and once everyone was seated, I was going to pour the wine for those that did drink and sparkling juice for those that didn’t. At this wonderful moment, I was going to stand next to my newly BELOVED husband and say:
FIRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR COMING TO OUR HAPPY HOME AND CELEBRATING THIS; OUR FIRST HOLIDAY TOGETHER. PLEASE EAT THIS TURKEY I HAVE SPENT ALL NIGHT PREPARING FOR YOU AND ENJOY! HOWEVER, SINCE MY ADORABLE HUSBAND PLANS TO FILE FOR DIVORCE TOMORROW I WILL NOT BE JOINING YOU.
And with that I was going to storm out the door and leave. Where I was going to go or what I was going to do…that I wasn’t sure of. But I am sure I would come up with something.
When ROB came home from picking up Pete, he had a gas station bouquet of flowers, a huge hug and tears with tons of SORRY’s. Only problem was, I had received so many of these bouquets, hugs and sorry’s, it didn’t really matter to me. But you know what somewhere, it did.
As the families started to come, I had a hard time looking at anyone or even mingling with anyone. My mom asked what was wrong & if she could help with anything so that I could relax a little. NO! I didn’t want to relax or have to look or talk with my parents! Then I would have lost it and started to cry all over again and my plan would be ruined.
My plan was ruined by my own heart. As we all gathered around the Thanksgiving table, I couldn’t do it! I looked into the eyes of my step-son that had such adoration, I saw my parents standing there and thought I can’t cause all this hurt for them and his family! Well, I wasn’t sure what his family would think, but I didn’t want to be the one that walked out on my marriage.
I took those vows, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, FOR RICHER OR POORER, IN SICKNESS & IN HEALTH. I told myself, this was his sickness & we would get through this also.
WOULD WE GET THROUGH THIS?
Look for my next entry and we come closer and closer to the conclusion to this marriage!
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A day to remember…
January 22, 2012 in Uncategorized | Tags: 2002, 2003, 26, 95, ass, attorney, baby, balconies, bar, bitch, bouncers, bridesmaids, cab, cake, car, cards, champagne, church, cleaned, comment, commute, contractor, cunt, danced, die, dinner, divorce, dollar, drank, dreams, dress, driver, drove, ears, engaged, entertain, entry, face, families, faults, fixings, fuck, girl, girls, gittery, groggy, happines, holiday, Holiday Inn, home, host, hotel, independent, jaw, July, love, man, marriage, married, menu, minneosta, minnesota, money, moving, night, nope, november, parents, passing, pay, paying, perfect, phone, photographer, plans, police, promised, reception, relax, shock, shower, sister, skills, sleeve, smoke, stomach, story, streaming, suite, table, talking, tears, Thanksgiving, theme, time, toasted, train, turkey, warning, wedding | 3 comments
If you remember, the last we spoke, ROB and I had just gotten engaged. It was November 2002 and we set the wedding date for July 26, 2003, lots to do with little time. Since ROB had been married once before, he wanted me to have the wedding on my dreams and pretty much let me make the plans. I started, photographer…check; cake…check; dress…check; menu…check and so one. Then it came time to the reception spot. Right across from the church we were going to be married at was a Holiday Inn. How perfect, easy to commute to, people can stay and from what I had heard, they did a really nice job with weddings. So one night, ROB and I went over. We walked the hotel, had dinner, sat in the bar and even sat out on one of the balconies and just watched the people strolling by and talking. His comment was, “I THINK THIS IS IT! IT LOOKS & FEELS LIKE US AND THERE’S A COUPLE BARS CLOSE BY!” Right there should have been a huge clue! Did I take the warning? NOPE, I just thought it was a comment in passing. So we booked it! My parents were paying for the wedding so that SURELY didn’t bother ROB one bit…as a matter of fact, he never even asked how much it was going to cost.
The big day came. It was 95 in Minnesota, the church didn’t have air and I had on a long sleeve dress with a full train. I thought I was going to die! But it was great. I remember my dad being a little jittery, but hey, I’m his baby girl and from what I have heard, that’s just how dad’s act when this big day comes. We went on to the reception and all was fine. We danced, Rob drank, we toasted, Rob drank, we had the dollar dance, ROB drank. I think you see the theme here. The end of the night finally came and we went up to our suite. The bridesmaids had sent up food & champagne so that we could relax. I just remember wanting to take a shower and get out of that dress. All ROB could think about was opening those damn cards to see how much money was in them. Fine, let’s do this so I can get in the shower.
Four months into our marriage, Thanksgiving was coming. I told both families that I wanted to host since this was our first holiday together. I loved to entertain and put my skills to work. Two days before the big day, I had all the fixings ready to go. Since I had started a job where I was an independent contractor, I was able to work from home and make sure that everything was perfect. I set the table, cleaned the home and made sure everything was perfect. Not once did ROB acknowledge all the prework I had already done. The night before Thanksgiving, ROB called me and said that he was going to stop at the bar on his way home. It wasn’t going to be late as he was only going to have one and then be on his way home. I was shocked when he asked if there was anything he needed from the grocery store on his way home. I told him as a matter of fact there was about 4 things but I needed to know for sure that he would get them. He promised me, told me he loved and I would see him soon.
It was 11 o’clock when I finally went to bed and ROB had still not come home. Since I had to be up at 5 am to get the turkey going, I thought it in my best interest to get some sleep. At 1:15am my phone rang. Groggy as I was, I answered the phone and almost go sick to my stomach thinking something had happened to ROB! Oh yeah, something had happened all right, he had gotten completely wasted and the bouncers had told him that if they saw him leave the bar & drive, they would call the police. ROB’s sister thought it in ROB’s best interest to call me to come and get him. I told her to put him in a cab, I would wait for him to come home and pay the cab driver when they arrived. She said that he was very agitated and I better come now to get him. I had a 20 minute drive to get there. I crawled out of bed, still in my jammies, I put on my coat, got into my Mercedes he had gotten me and off I went. It was a cold snowy night, but I dredged forward. When I got to the bar, I pulled up front called ROB’s phone and told him I was out front and he had 2 minutes to get in the car. To my surprise, ROB hung up on me….OH REALLY, I thought!!!!! With smoke coming out of my ears, I stormed into that bar; walked right up to ROB and told him to get his ass in the car immediately. His jaw fell on the floor and he told me to get the fuck out of the bar.
I went out to the car and ROB followed behind me. Once we got onto the freeway, ROB started in…who the hell did I think I was to embarrass him like that in HIS bar? I was the biggest bitch he had ever met and what a cunt I had turned out to be. He had had it. We were going to do this Thanksgiving thing and the very next day, he was going to contact and attorney and divorce my ass.
I drove in shock the rest of the way home with tears streaming down my face. How could this have happened to me? All I had ever done was love this man and put up with some of his other faults…how could he say this to me? I remember sitting up the rest of that night; crying and trying to figure out what to do. Oh I figured it out. I was going to go forward with this Thanksgiving dinner, but I was the one that was going to make the toast and what a toast it would be.
See how that toast goes in the next entry of Moving onto Happiness…A Minnesota Girls Divorce Story!
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