Who do I trust?

Well as you remember in the last post, ROB once again worked his magic of hurt on me.  But not only did he hurt me, he cut my heart into pieces and left it laying for all to dance on at the beach when he let some women fondle him at the campfire in front of our friends.  ROB and I did not speak to one another from that night on for about a week.  WHO DO I TRUST?? Most of my time day & night was spent with visions of that incident running through my head.  The image was so haunting that I didn’t want to close my eyes and the one thing I did learn about myself from that time, was I CAN NOT function without sleep.  I not only became disconnected from life, but I became disconnected with me.

In my career as a Real Estate agent, I had the ability to pick & choose not only whom I worked with, but when I actually worked.  Well, when you let on thing consume your every thought, minute and day…eventually it will consume your being.  I was not sure where to go, what to do, whom to talk to and more than not, WHOM TO TRUST with this most embarrassing & degrading thing.  I was also worried about that if I told someone about this beach instance, would they ask more, would I need to tell them more or would they just know that more happened and how pathetic would I look for not only staying in such a horrible situation, but let someone like this continue to treat me like this and not stand up for myself and make my life better by leaving?  WHO DO I TRUST?

It was time to get serious.  SERIOUS, what was that?  Nothing in my past 5 years had been serious; or at least that is how it felt to me now.  Part of me knew what I needed to do, part of me didn’t want to know what I needed to do and the majority of me didn’t know WHO DO I TRUST?

 At the time all of this most dreadful stuff was happening, I worked with someone who I trusted more than ever.  He would not only just let me vent; tell my story or be in my corner cheering me on no matter what, I knew that I could tell this person just about anything and they would never mention of it again.  That was what I needed most now.  Someone I could just let it all out to and see if they knew what I should do.  More than not, I needed a connection.  A connection that could give me some advice.  As I began to talk with this most precious friend, I could see the pain, disgust, amazement and most of all concern for me in their eyes.

As I walked out of that room from letting all of this out as to not only what had just happened, but more importantly what had happened over the past 5 years, I felt like someone lifted a 5000 lbs. brick off my chest.  Now I just needed to come up with the confidence I needed to talk with someone who could give me advice I could trust.  A LAWYER…

Here we go…this is when the learning part of this blog really begins.  As this blog continues, you will learn about what happened to me in my experience in dealing with LAWYERS and things I wished someone would have told me to be more prepared, more able to protect myself and things I hope no one will ever have happen to them.

Check back soon to see where we go from here and WHO DO I TRUST?

If you are dealing with someone who you think maybe or is an alcoholic, please contact ALCOHOLIC ANONYMOUS and get help.  You can access their website at www.aa.org to find out more information.

If you are dealing with someone who you think maybe or is an out of control gambler, please contact GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS and get help.  You can access their website at http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/index.php to find out more information.

Look for my next entry as we come closer and closer to the conclusion to this marriage!

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